A Full Plate at Life's Buffet

Do you ever feel like you're standing at the buffet of life, holding a plate overflowing with food? That's kind of how I'm feeling right now. The problem? I can't seem to stop putting food on my plate. This, I think, is one of my biggest character flaws/weaknesses. I get fantastic ideas (thanks, ADD) but tend to fall apart when it comes to follow-through. Again, thanks, ADD.

Work continues and has been going very well. Working two retail jobs isn't exactly the glamorous life, but it means I have money coming in. I'm also (still) trying to teach myself to use my spare time to my own benefit. It seems like my free time keeps getting filled up by little, insignificant things that I enjoy in the moment, but afterwards... Yeah, it was enjoyable, but there's still all this stuff I want to do that I could've worked on instead. Continuing my buffet analogy, I think these impulse quick-entertainment to-dos are like the dessert bar. Lots of fun, good at hitting the pleasure center of the brain, but it won't keep me going.

Things at work have been a little crazier than usual, but I've kept at it and been working both jobs for almost two months. The manager at one job unexpectedly walked out, so we are in flux there while waiting for the company to transfer/hire someone new. At the other job, we have inventory coming up this week and the manager on vacation next week. This means I'll be getting some extra hours, which is all manner of shiny.

More good news: at the end of this week/over the weekend, I will be moving into my own apartment! Yes, I've had an apartment before, but it was at school and on campus. This time around, I get to pay my own bills and set everything up the way I want and I am SO EXCITED!!! I've been ready to do this adult thing for a while, so I'm really looking forward to these final steps. In terms of bills, I actually lucked out: all I have to pay (besides school loans, car payment, cell phone, etc.) is rent and electric. That's a fantastic deal in my book.

Right now, as usual, I'm doing as much as I can to load my spare time down with projects. Here are just a few of the things on my wish list of to-dos.

Moving - mentioned above. Duh. This is a must do.

Packing - Priority one after work and chores and... Yeah, it's on the list.

Novel in progress - a fantasy/horror piece; the initial idea was in my head for about a month before I started committing words to paper.

Screenwriting - my newest brain wave. Instead of seeking a Masters degree in creative writing (paying more money, taking literary criticism classes I really don't care about) I'm going to try my hand at screenwriting. Not sure yet whether I'll be learning on my own through reading and doing, trial and error, or taking online classes.

Media reviews - this morning's random brain wave. I've recently started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (FINALLY!!!) and have been loving it. I'm going to try and write up some reviews to be posted on this blog. From there, I may branch out to other tv shows/movies as they pique my interest. If I can keep up with this, I may set up a blog dedicated just to these reviews. Time will tell.

Vlogging - This is always on the to-do list. I'm going to set up a studio of sorts in my apartment. planning for the day I own an actual video camera, external mic, etc.

Blogging - Doing this today. Finally. For once.

Running - I miss this. It needs to cool off in Texas.

BDV history - a never-ending project that I may never get to.

RP posts - bottom of the to do list, but still very much there. There are days it seems more like work than play, but it's writing, so this doesn't shock me. Still, it doesn't exactly help with the motivating.

Camp NaNoWriMo - this is becoming less of a priority. Would it be nice to earn a NaNo win while working two jobs? Yeah. Still, not sure I need a 50k/31day deadline looming. It seems better that I write on my own time as I'm able to.

Yeah, my plate is pretty full. I know I do it to myself. Maybe because of the ADD. I don't know. Anyway, that's just a few of the things going on in my life at the moment. I'll post a tour of the apartment on YouTube once everything is set up.

How do you avoid over-loading at life's buffet? Or do you grab way too much like I do?

Again with the goals

With graduation two weeks away (!!!) I've gone and set more goals for myself and given myself more personal projects on top of my school work. Smart decision? Probably not. Nevertheless, I'm going to try and get everything done. The current project is a writing portfolio. I'm a little surprised I don't already have one pulled together. However, I'm not precisely shocked, which is somewhat unfortunate. Clearly, I know myself too well and don't always work hard enough on shaking myself out of old habits. With that fact recognized, I'll move on. Discussing my own shortcomings is not the topic of this particular blog entry.

The first thing I need for this writing portfolio is more samples of my writing. I do have a few things - research papers written for class, two one act plays I wrote, poems from creative writing, etc. - but I really need to punch it up and show the range of my talents. I'll be pulling entries from this blog to show some of my personal, non-fiction writing. I also plan to lurk some of my own character posts over at a few of my RP sites (more on this later.) Beyond that, I need to figure it out. I could add my NaNoWriMo wins, but am not 100% sure at the idea of including unedited manuscripts that were written in thirty consecutive days and still aren't finished. Besides the sheer massive outpouring of writing for word count's sake that is NaNo, I don't have the means at present to print out those monstrosities. Maybe I could skim some favorite sections and offer them with a summary of the previous action.

For a lot of the writing portfolio, I intend to pull heavily from my favorite RP site and the one I've been on the longest, Big Damn Verse. I've been a member since before that particular site existed and have served as a member of the admin team since fall of 2007. Going into our seventh year, the site has maintained a lot of the same core group of members and a lot of the same staff. We have seven years of original story lines, characters, etc. built up and plenty more to come. If I'm going to be pulling samples of my writing, I'd be stupid not to be pulling from my other online home.

My other big BDV project is a constant work in progress that I need to get caught up on. It won't happen until after graduation, I'm sure, but it's not impossible. That project is the BDV history. I came up with the idea back in 07 or 08 to summarize each of the episodes the ships run through. This would allow new members to know more about what each ship had been through and what sort of characters might fit in with existing story lines. It would also give veteran members a chance to re-read and examine character story arcs away from the massive amounts of collaborative writing that take place in the in-character threads. It seemed like an easy way to step back and make sure we didn't have too many identical SLs running or spot running themes or view a running storyline arc on its own, etc etc etc. I think I kept up with the project for six months, but that guesstimation might be too generous. Now, I feel like I need to dive back into it because 1. it's a project that can, in theory, be "easily maintained" once it gets up to speed, 2. I still think it would offer new members a tremendous advantage, and 3. bragging rights. If I'm able to catch every BDV history thread up to speed on my own, I will be able to say without any doubt that I've read every IC post on the site. That's the theory, anyway.

So, there we have it, the list of things I'm going to work on when I'm not doing homework or packing or cleaning the apartment. Ha! Wish me luck. I'm afraid I'll need it.





Disclaimer: Big Damn Verse is a Firefly/Serenity based RPG. ALL Firefly, Serenity material including characters, Firefly/Serenity photos & graphics belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, and Universal Studios. The Big Damn Verse is NOT affiliated with any of the above. We make no profit, nor do we ever intend to. Disclaimer text copied from BDV main page.

Chicken Soup Epiphanies

During a study break, I opened one of the handful of Chicken Soup books I own. Shockingly, it was one I hadn't read - an entire book dedicated to resolutions. I started flipping through, reading some stories and skimming others, when perspective crept up out of nowhere and slapped me across the face. Resolutions, if you think about it, are nothing more than setting goals. This is something I always try to do, but don't always succeed on.

Two stories in particular caught my eye. In one, the writer resolved to stop watching television. She estimated that she had added six years to her life by filling former tv time with other activities. In the other, a writing student passed on the wisdom of his teacher. "[A rejection letter is just] proof that you're writing." As I read this, I heard a click as the truth of the simple statement sunk in. Now, this statement is over my desk in the hopes that one day I will begin collecting rejection letters of my own.

It seems both interesting and ironic that I should read a story about gaining free time and about the craft I so love on the same night that I made a significant move to clear my own schedule. No, I didn't drop out of school. I narrowed my personal extracurricular activities, specifically my involvement in online role-plays. If I can get up the guts to make the big leap, as of tomorrow I will only be on one RP site. I will only have one online distraction/commitment to maintain and I know the people there will wait for me.

In making this decision, I'm dropping about ten RP characters (the number would have been unthinkable had I done this six months ago.) As an avid RPer, this is a pretty big deal for me. I've been taking part in RPs for ten years. Am I ready to quit entirely? No, but I don't think I'll ever quit entirely. Today, however, I've decided to move away from any RP groups I participate in that I don't get anything out of. If playing my characters is nothing but a time-filler, the sort of thing I could do with my eyes closed or in my sleep, if I have no plots to play or characters to build off of, I'm leaving that group.

It's time I take my spare time seriously and do what I actually want to do.

An Experiment in Free Writing

Most lies are not big. They're small. They look harmless. Until they multiply. The first lie comes, a spot of jam on a tile floor, a small imperfection that needs to be covered. Put something over it. Now, a stool sits in the corner, covered with a bright floral fabric. The stool has been moved. Something has to take its place in the living room. The coffee table gets shifted, then something is added to occupy that extra space. Because it wasn't there before, it gets accidentally knocked over, the pieces swept under the rug. This creates a lump, an obstacle, that someone may trip over. A chair gets moved, its legs acting as sentries around the lump of debris. Now, there's a chair in the middle of the room. Another tripping hazard placed too close to the couch for it to be comfortable. Wouldn't it be easier to tell about that small spot on the kitchen floor than rearrange the living room? Covering a lie causes more mess. Better to tell the truth right from the beginning and take care of the problem while it is small.

Getting to the Point

As I approach my final semester of college, I find myself wondering about stress. How much of it will I be facing? What sort of jobs will I be given in the two theatrical productions remaining in my collegiate career? What extra work will be required of me as I face an advanced directing class, a theater management class, a spanish class, and a speech class? How much free time can I find for my own writing? Will I ever find my textbook for spanish or will I be forced to purchase a new copy? That would suck. Stay tuned to learn the results of my search.

There's not much that can stop all these questions and concerns, but I'm working on keeping myself calm. All in all, the things that best calm me down are reading and writing. I just finished reading a remarkable book The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and his stream of consciousness narrative style is helping me to explore that idea more in my own writing. You remember my previous post on writing routines? As a writer, a reader, a technician, and a college student, I have trouble functioning without my coffee. I'm sure other people have this problem. Well, if you do, never fear! Just try for my give away.

Image via Wikipedia

Yes, I am doing my first give away. The prize, now that you've sloughed through my above rambling and round about way of thinking (welcome to the ADD mind!) is a $10 pre registered gift card to Starbucks. Instructions to enter the giveaway can be found below. The drawing will be on Jan. 21, 2011. Good luck! I'm off to get more coffee. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Writing Routines

It's said that a lot of writers have routines, behaviors they repeat every time they sit down to practice their craft. Stephen King shuts himself in his writing room from 9-5, viewing it as his job. Some writers have special emblems or totems or "lucky" clothing. Some only hand-write while others only type. If you think about it, we can be just as superstitious a group as actors. (Some of the actor superstitions I've encountered include an actor who repeated the same pre-show routine from the first tech run to the final curtain to the point he arrived at the same time each evening, left at the same time, and did the same things in the same order. I knew a pair of actresses who would only let one technician tape their mics in place because that was the tech who did it during the first dress rehearsal.) Enough about actors. On to some of my writing habits/routines.

Hot Beverages This habit, I believe, is a throwback of learned behaviors from NaNoWriMo. When I sit down to write and it's not school related, I have to have some hot caffeinated beverage within reach. Even if I completely ignore it til it's ice cold, it has to be there from the start. I end up drinking it cold 90% of the time. Lol.

Energy Drinks If I don't have coffee, I'll reach for my energy drink of choice - Monster. There's not much like the feel of wanting to get up and not letting myself do it. When the only way I can burn excess energy is through my fingers moving across the keyboard, man do I get a lot written!

Change Scenery There are times, I just need a change of scenery - for myself, not my characters. One of my best writing days was in a coffee shop during NaNoWriMo. I wrote over 6k words that day. It's amazing what a simple change of scene can do for your mind.

Handwriting When I'm handwriting, it has to be lined paper and it has to be black ink. That is all.

Talk it Out Proof that most writers are a little nuts. I'll sit and discuss dialogue with myself, talking it all out and visualizing the entire scene.

Dare to Write Badly or The What If Universe When I talk things out, I often come up with a lot of things that, while entertaining to write, I know will never fit the story or the characters. So what do I do? I write it anyway and get rid of it later. Sometimes, it's one small moment in the impossible scenario I've dreamed up that will spark the next legit scene in the story.

Write or Die An amazing online program, a lot of my friends think I'm sadistic because I use Write or Die on kamikaze mode - this means that if I sit with the program open for too long without typing, the program will start to automatically delete words. Talk about incentive.

BICFOK The best advice I've ever received - tied, of course, to NaNoWriMo. BICFOK isn't the newest swear word; it's an initialism. Butt In Chair, Fingers On Keyboard. Sometimes, that's the only way to get things done - sheer force of willpower.

"One hasn't become a writer until one has distilled writing into a habit, and that habit has been forced into an obsession. Writing has to be an obsession. It has to be something as organic, physiological, and psychological as speaking or sleeping or eating." -Niyi Osundare

Literary Villains

I'm contemplating a series of posts revolving around villainous characters in literature and the root of their cruel tendencies. Asking what might make a character tick is a lot like asking what makes a person tick - there are very few brief answers. I'm not sure how many blog entries this may give me. A lot of it will honestly depend on how long the topic holds my interest.

Currently, I'm planning blog entries on Tom Riddle AKA Lord Voldemort from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, Henry Bowers from Stephen King's It, Javert from Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, Bill Sikes and Fagin from Oliver Twist, Saruman and Sauron from J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings series, and Xayde & Gmork from Michael Ende's The Neverending Story. Any villains you'd like to see added to the list?

For the purposes of these entries, I will be examining each villain on their own. These aren't compare and contrast pieces - that may come later, just because I'd love to see Voldemort own Xayde. Lol. In these blogs, I intend to look at each villain: what makes them bad, what might explain their particular brand of evil (if any back story was provided in the original work), and why the readers so love to hate them.

Waiting for Friday

Why can't I wait til Friday? Simple. It's the beginning of July and the start of Camp NaNoWriMo, a summer challenge to write a novel manuscript of 50,000 words in thirty days. NaNoWriMo traditionally takes place in November and has been going since 1999. Now, with Camp NaNoWriMo, participants have the option to turn any month into a writing month. This year, I'll be participating in July.

My NaNo record over five years of participating is 22k last November. I'm still very proud of that, but it's time to top my record. I already have a fantastic idea that I'm itching to start. Until Thursday, I will work on developing my characters and making a list of possible plot twists to incorporate when the story begins to lag. I feel that a NaNoWriMo in July will better fit my schedule this summer. I know my schedule fairly precisely and can easily carve a couple hours per day for writing before work claims me. In August, after my internship, my schedule will be more up in the air and November has never been the best month for me. There's always a play in the first two weeks and studying for finals is a must in the last week, then there's the holiday.

Scheduling conflicts aside, the whole idea of NaNoWriMo works well for me. With a strict deadline (30 days) and a set goal (50k) I don't have time to fret over tiny details or go crazy with editing when I'm still in the middle of telling the story. Who knows? Maybe this year will be my year. I've placed a widget on the sidebar to track my novelling progress.

I have heard a lot of criticism about NaNoWriMo, people arguing that writing must be focused on quality rather than sheer quantity. My personal philosophy is that there will be no quality without quantity. If there's not something there initially, there can be no judge one way or the other if it is quality.

Anyone interested in taking up a fun, crazy novel writing challenge, either in summer or in November, check out http://www.nanowrimo.org for more information.

Visiting the Classics

I read a lot. Any chance I get, really. Of course, during the semester, my free time to read diminishes significantly in favor of academia related reading. A lot of that reading is good, of course-Macbeth, Henry V, The Mousetrap, etc.-but there's nothing like reading a good piece of literature and knowing I won't have to analyze and dissect it afterward. This semester, I'm visiting some classics.

The first one I picked up was originally read for school. I simply couldn't keep up with the rest of the class when we read Gone With the Wind. I hadn't really been exposed to it before, so I knew nothing about the story. As a result of the forced march reading style the class demanded-I remember having to read four chapters in one night to catch up-I didn't take to the book or it's characters on my first read-through. Some parts of it were over my head. I found Scarlett O'Hara to be stereotyped heavily, a flat character, always the spoiled child pouting to get her way. Why was she the heroine of this story? Why had the story lasted so long?

A year passed before I could pick the book up again. Visiting it on my own terms, within my own schedule, made all the difference. With the ability to go back and re-read passages as often as I wanted, to linger over some, I finally fell in love with the book. I truly saw, for the first time, every sign of Rhett's care for Scarlett. I saw every small change in the Southern belle as she was forced to face the real world. I watched the characters grow and evolve. It has since become a favorite, though one I only pick up when I have the time to dedicate to reading it.

Another that was more of an instant favorite was Watership Down. Richard Adams was brilliant in his writing, taking simple creatures-rabbits-and inventing them an entire culture, with its own myths and legends. I've made the journey with Hazel, Bigwig, Fiver, and all the rest countless times and have loved it more each time. Anyone who hasn't read this book needs to because it is spectacular.

My most recent acquisition in the area of classic literature has much the same story, for me, as Gone With the Wind did. In all honesty, the whole reason I picked up The Grapes of Wrath was because the book I was reading I had left in the car. I looked to my bookshelf and considered before spotting The Grapes of Wrath and thinking to myself I'd never read it before. I grabbed it, taking a chance. So far, I'm only on chapter six and I've completely fallen in love. The simple wording Steinbeck uses makes the images he paints all the more vivid. He doesn't waste words; I appreciate that immensely.

Still, wordy or not, I love most of the literature I've picked up. I wonder what I'll be reading next.

November planning

Here it is; my first blog entry...FINALLY! I've been in the grip of writer's block, or so I tell myself. It seems more likely that I'm wanting to write something that "has meaning" or some such nonsense; something that's more than me just talking about my life. Then, I realized, again...for about the billionth time in my life, I'm sure...that all that matters for me is that I write. As my mom always says "you have time for what you make time for; make time for what's important" and "you have to repeat a task until it becomes habit." That's what I'm trying to do: make writing a habit. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Writing is something I've always wanted to do. However, I've never been able to actually finish writing a story. As a result, my computer is bogged down with old stories, some of which will never see the light of day no matter how much potential they might have because, really, after five, seven, ten years, who cares? My storage unit also is (was) drowning with spare scraps of paper, extra spirals filled with random scribblings and sporadic stops and starts of story after story. In '05, I discovered National Novel Writers Month (NaNoWriMo) which can be found at www.nanowrimo.org and which I'll likely be plugging for all of October. NaNoWriMo is a world-wide event in which authors, both hopefuls and already established, work to compose 50,000 words in the month of November. I've participated since '06, but have never completed a work or even broken 10,000 words. This year, I'm changing tactics. Here's how.

#1 To get into the habit of daily writing, I'll be keeping this blog. (Duh.) What I'll wrote about remains to be seen.

#2 As a part of my blogging, I'll be keeping track of my word count so that I'm ready for NaNoWriMo. This necessity for word count might lead to a lot of repetition on my part, unneeded sentences, etc. (Much like this one.)

#3 Checking my schedule, I've noticed some very fortunate scheduling, which may help me succeed.

A. November starts on a Saturday. Hooray for weekend writing!

B. The one play TSU performs in November is scheduled for the first week of the month. Since I'm not cast onstage or placed backstage for anything, I'll only have to show up Saturday for strike (and to see the play, of course - hooray for free theater major tickets!) Better yet, my theater classes have no real mid-terms and my history mid-term was yesterday. This means the only exam I'll be studying for is in my English class.

C. My family already knows about my goal, as do several of my friends. My best friend (I hope) will be participating this year with me. Hello, word wars!

#4 Halloween candy goes on sale November 1. I'll be tearing off to the dollar store to buy large goody bags at half-off, which makes it .50 to 1.50 per bag! Hooray for cheap sugar!

#5 I plan on getting up earlier in the mornings, which will be my writing time. This will guarantee that I don't fall behind in classes and can do my homework and studying in the evenings.

That's the only plan I have so far. Now, I just have to figure out a plot... Already, the forums at NaNoWriMo have opened up to be flooded with participants as well as posts. I'm bumming around as scagamer, reading up on tips and tricks left by past winners of NaNo. A few things I need to remember:

1. School work > NaNovel

2. Delete key is off limits. Typos are okay.

2A. Re-reading is off limits. Typos are still okay.

2B. Visit NaNo forums, check BDV as reward. 1000 words = 10 minutes online goof-off.

2Ba. Use reward time during the day instead of in the a.m. so as to not be late for school.

3. If net wont' work, use M&M/candy reward method.

3A. Freeze candy when possible so it'll last longer. (Charleston Chews, York Peppermint Patties, generally anything that starts as "chewy;" no Bit-O Honeys though - must avoid breaking teeth)

4. When hit by writer's block, skip to next scene/next exciting scene.

5. School work > NaNovel

6. Coffee, Cherry Coke, etc. is your friend, but water is great too.

7. Snacks/meals are better when prep time is brief and/or someone else can fix it and/or it can be eaten with one hand.

8. Keep notebooks by bed, in backpack, in car, in pocket, etc. at all times. Writing utensil behind ear. If no utensil can be found, check green room/call board or hit up friends. Writing in blood is a last resort. ;)

9. Chain up and gag inner editor in late October. Feed editor intravenously while allowing muses and characters to feat in sumptuous fashion. Only release editor for school related projects. Ignore muffled screams.

Hm... I know there was supposed to be more here. Ah well. That gives me something to write about in my next blog. So, does anyone else plan on joining me in this madness? It's a lot of fun; I promise!

Now, for my plot ideas. Which one should I use!?

Idea #1 came to me in July/August. The story centers around a group of 20 something college students who will be better described below. They're all screwed up in their own special ways as they try to navigate life in the real world. The first character to talk to me is likely to be my Female Main Character (FMC). As I stood at the bathroom mirror, she appeared out of nowhere in all her OCD glory as she studied the counter top. "Would it really kill me if I moved the brush? It's been on that side of the sink for so long," she wondered. Slowly, with a slightly trembling hand I know she was trying to hide, she reached for the brush as if it were a bomb. Her fingers wrapped around the handle, moving as if she expected a snake to strike, the brush flying to the opposite side of the counter. As she moved her hand away, I saw her look up and smile wide, a look of simple victory. "Yay, me!"

The next character to appear, the Male MC, stood with smart military carriage, looking straight into the mirror. Slowly, slowly, he sighed, shoulders relaxing as he looked down. "I don't want to be here. This isn't for me," he whispered, posture still ramrod straight though he had relaxed. It took nothing for me to study him and realize he was in the Navy at his father's demand. He grew up in a military family, seemed more mature than several of the other characters, and didn't want to admit how scared he was, how much he wanted to get out. I saw him escaping the base only to be told he could leave anytime. An OTH discharge will cause his family to disown him as he tries to find his feet in the civilian world.

The supporting characters came next, one of them still trying to steal the spotlight. He's older, a sophomore or junior who acts as resident adviser to Navy boy and plays teacher's assistant in several freshman classes. This guy has both sympathy and attitude to spare, loves wearing all black, and is always two steps ahead of everyone else mentally. Quick witted and impatient of stupidity, he wont hesitate to tell a freshman their concerns of who to date are stupid. He's an academic through and through and loves that people judge him by appearance, expecting him to know nothing just because he's got a lip ring. This guy is the one I've got to pull from the spotlight a bit. The other SCs are pretty straight-forward cardboard characters at this point. The self proclaimed 60s flower-child is rooming with FMC, trying to get her to loosen up, do what feels right, etc. while the spoiled rich kid and the scholarship case who took a year off to work and save up more $ just might kill each other down the hall.

Idea #2 was inspired by the famed "play within a play" scene in Shakespeare's 'Midsummer Night's Dream.' It's fairly straightforward, but has more room for the random insanity of ninjas, zombies, et. al. that seem to infest NaNovels when the word count drops or the plot bunnies go on strike. For this idea, my MC is participatin in NaNoWriMo. It's a novel within a novel, or more to the pint, a NaNovel within a NaNovel.

Well, I've babbled plenty about my plans for November. More to come later, I'm sure. NaNoWriMo, here I come!

Word count: 1467; approximately 200 short of minimum daily word count for NaNo.