11 May 2017
I made it ten days completely unmedicated. There was no weaning down because my pills are only one mg. There's nothing to wean down from. Without my meds, as I already knew, my lizard brain takes over. Whatever looks best in the moment is what I do. There were a lot of naps and a whole lot of not focusing on one task for any amount of time. Lots of anxiety too, which was new. So, after ten days, I got back on my medication and things are going much better now. When I told my OB/GYN about my little experiment, she was supportive of both my experimenting and my going back on meds. "If you need them, you need them." Her words.
I had another appointment this week and, as has been the case so far, made it out with a clean bill of health for me and my baby girl. She also didn't give up anything. No face pictures. Legs together. Shifting away from the ultrasound wand the whole time. My husband texted me with "Aw, already so modest!" upon learning of his daughter's stubbornness. I replied back. "Sweetie, if she's taking after you, she probably just thinks the camera is going to steal her soul."That's exactly the kind of thing he would come up with!
An interesting development this week has been feeling her move. I've done a lot of research and seen these first movements described with wonderful imagery. "It feels like popcorn popping." "It feels like a butterfly flapping its wings." Well, I'm not sure what these mothers are feeling, but that's not my daughter at all. When she kicks me, it feels like she's kicking me. It feels exactly what being kicked from inside feels like. It's uncomfortable. Sometimes it just plain hurts.
The pregnancy is going well. I'm looking forward to future developments and am so excited to meet my daughter. Even if she kicks the hell out of my insides between now and then.
06 May 2017
I am not actually writing this blog. Instead, I am on my new cell phone, a Samsung Note 5 I believe and I am writing this blog using the speech to text feature.
At the moment, I am walking along in our lovely Texas weather and on my way to work for the day. I work a 6 hour shift today and then this evening Joshua is going to pick me up and we're going to go game. We've been gaming on and off for about the past three years or so I think with another couple. Most of our games have been in Dungeons & Dragons but we've recently switched over to the GURPS system. Our current campaign is a group of paladins which are warriors who get their powers from whatever deity they choose to pray to. It's been a lot of fun partially because this is the first time in three years of gaming together that my husband and I have been at the table both as players. In the past, one or the other of us (usually him) has been acting as the dungeon master who runs the game for the players. So this is been a very fun switch in our normal routine.
There isn't a whole lot else going on. I'm proud to say that I finally got my chores into a routine that I can keep up with. The house is finally clean to a level that I'm able to maintain it with only mild difficulty. It may not sound like much, but for me the fact that I can maintain the cleanliness of the house for the first time since we've been together is huge. I know that my husband gets anxious when the house is too messy whereas I get anxious when it's too clean. I think we found a nice balance we can strike. And honestly it just feels good knowing that everything is where it's supposed to be and it feels even better knowing that I'm the one that got it there.
I'll see about posting some photos tomorrow.
25 April 2017
Joshua keeps making suggestions that I'm sure I could do, but they all involve one thing. Nursing? I need a degree. Teaching? I need a degree. I worry that nursing is not going to stay the booming career path it seems to be now. As for teaching, the schedule would be great, but I know the pay isn't and I'm not looking to relocate.
I told him today that the simplest option, as far as a fast start and immediate money, would be setting the house up as an at home daycare. Getting certified through the state isn't difficult, but getting clients in a teeny town like Blanket could be a challenge. The other option, as has always been there, is writing and self-publishing, but even that isn't guaranteed money. I've looked into work from home jobs and, for most of them, our internet is too slow. My experience is almost all customer service, so I'm largely stuck applying for customer service positions. And now I'm through fussing and ready to start researching. I'm sure if I look hard enough and work hard enough, I can find something that lets me work from home, get the benefits I need (even if this means paying out of pocket), and ensures I make the amount I need to. There's got to be something out there.
21 April 2017
20 April 2017
Yesterday, I went over some of the "broad stroke" changes that have happened in my life. Today's entry will be another one bringing my readers up to speed. (Are any of you still out there?) Even if I'm doing nothing more than shouting into the void, I'm going to try and keep doing it. Here goes.
As I've said, my husband and I are buying a house in Blanket, Texas. The house used to belong to my step-dad's cousin and was built in 1904. When we got it - there's no way to be really nice about this - the place was a mess. We spent the first month getting two rooms cleared out. Not functional or fully set up. Just getting the trash out, setting aside important paperwork, and getting things swept and clean. At one point, we hauled a literal ton of trash out to the local landfill. And only two items in that ton were furniture. When this happened, our king sized bed was still set up in the dining room - the only room with enough empty space to put it.
After we got the rooms set up to bare functionality we started feeling the struggle of being home owners. First, the plumbing went out. Joshua spent almost a month getting new lines run just to the bathroom. Then, we had to replace siding. It is so difficult to find even original looking siding when the design you need isn't made anymore. We had to have it specially ordered. All the while, we were still taking baby steps on getting the house in order. Clearing trash out of the yard, mowing til the mower broke, pulling old carpet from one of the bedrooms and peeling up the old tile in the kitchen.
The list of projects and work we have done goes on and on. We've been in the house for over a year and we finally have it in our names. As of right now, our remaining big projects are: running electricity to the attic and living room (the rest of the house has been successfully re-wired), painting the nursery, painting the dining room, painting the exterior, replacing two windows in the attic, getting the bathroom sink to work (this may never happen short of a full replacement), and removing a wall between the pantry and the living room. I'm sure there's something on that list I'm forgetting and that's without all the stuff that needs done outside.
All in all, I'm proud of the work we have done. We have a decent looking, hot in the summer and cold in the winter, two bedroom house with an attic. Given time, we plan on adding a wrap-around porch to the front and possibly converting the attic into a master bedroom and a library/gaming room. Photos to come. Maybe. If I remember. For my next entry: a tradition about potatoes.
18 April 2017
I'm very happily married to the love of my life. We've been together almost four years and our second wedding anniversary is next month.
We are in the process of buying a house in Blanket, Texas. The town is exactly as small as you'd imagine - maybe smaller. ;)
We got the house transferred to our names this week So excited!
And...the big one.
I'm fifteen weeks along. This is my first pregnancy and we're having a little girl. She is due to join us in late September of this year.
My plans now are to revive this blog and get back to writing. Starting CPR now.
22 February 2016
27 January 2016
24 January 2016
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I returned home, having been awake and moving for less than twenty minutes. This had to be the moment my meds kicked in because I remembered why I had requested the opening shift today. It was my father's birthday party this evening. And, now that I had to work the closing shift, I would miss the get together.
I did more than mentally kick myself as I called Other Mom and made my apologies to Poppa. My parents understood, of course, but it didn't stop me from feeling lousy about the whole situation. When I got to work for my closing shift, the miserable feeling continued. Yes, I was beating myself up, but not (as much) about the missed party.
Instead, I was miserable due to my new schedule. After working tonight til 10:30 pm, I have to be up tomorrow and at work by 7:30 am. Yay. -.-
All of this I blame on two things: technology and my ADD. Technology is to blame because my alarm did not go off. My phone shut off while on the charger last night. Kicking myself number one. ADD is to blame because I forgot about the party that my family had made sure to arrange around my work schedule. Kicking myself number two.
Yeah, it has been a fun ADD day. Hoping tomorrow will go better. Stick around to find out.
Have you ever forgotten a big, important event at the last minute? How did you cope?
19 March 2015
I finally finished fighting with the insurance company at work and, hate to say, lost the fight. My health insurance is now coming out of my own pocket. Not cool, but necessary.
I am also getting back to my writing. Sitting in the break room at work, I was roughing out a chapter for my current WIP when, inevitably, I got another idea. So, while working on my current big project, I will be jotting down notes for a side project. If I can pull it off, things should be interesting. If I can't pull it off, at least I am writing again. There is never a time that doesn't feel good.
What is a long lost project you have come back to? What are you working on that's new?