I am 19 weeks, 5 days into my pregnancy and what a roller coaster it has been. My biggest stumbling block so far has been in my first trimester. I had nausea, but never got sick (such a blessing.) Instead, I made my own very special mistake. I stopped taking my ADD medication. Why? Well, I wanted to see if I could do it so that I would know later. The answer, inevitably, was a resounding and overwhelming NO!
I made it ten days completely unmedicated. There was no weaning down because my pills are only one mg. There's nothing to wean down from. Without my meds, as I already knew, my lizard brain takes over. Whatever looks best in the moment is what I do. There were a lot of naps and a whole lot of not focusing on one task for any amount of time. Lots of anxiety too, which was new. So, after ten days, I got back on my medication and things are going much better now. When I told my OB/GYN about my little experiment, she was supportive of both my experimenting and my going back on meds. "If you need them, you need them." Her words.
I had another appointment this week and, as has been the case so far, made it out with a clean bill of health for me and my baby girl. She also didn't give up anything. No face pictures. Legs together. Shifting away from the ultrasound wand the whole time. My husband texted me with "Aw, already so modest!" upon learning of his daughter's stubbornness. I replied back. "Sweetie, if she's taking after you, she probably just thinks the camera is going to steal her soul."That's exactly the kind of thing he would come up with!
An interesting development this week has been feeling her move. I've done a lot of research and seen these first movements described with wonderful imagery. "It feels like popcorn popping." "It feels like a butterfly flapping its wings." Well, I'm not sure what these mothers are feeling, but that's not my daughter at all. When she kicks me, it feels like she's kicking me. It feels exactly what being kicked from inside feels like. It's uncomfortable. Sometimes it just plain hurts.
The pregnancy is going well. I'm looking forward to future developments and am so excited to meet my daughter. Even if she kicks the hell out of my insides between now and then.