Enough Already

I'm beginning to wonder if there's some law nobody told me about that says a person's body has to fall apart before they turn twenty-five. It could be some sick, twisted coming of age thing, a test to see if I can face the rigors of adulthood - since, apparently, six years in college with ADD isn't enough. Even if this isn't true, it doesn't change the fact that I've been sick for almost a week and the timing just plain sucks.

On February 29th, exactly one month before my 25th birthday, I started feeling a little ick. Flu like symptoms, very sore throat, and a dry cough. I started taking vitamins, took a couple days off from school, and figured the weekend would help this blow over. Now, it's been almost a week and I'm still sick, running a fever, and suffering from random nosebleeds that aren't really unusual, just annoying. Nosebleeds I'm used to - except the one I had Saturday that lasted over an hour. That wasn't fun. Still, it can be worked around. I'm keeping towels nearby and some saline to keep things from totally drying out.

Today, I gave in and went to the doctor. Basic questions were asked and answered - multiple times. My ears, nose, throat, and breathing were all examined. I was told I had a viral infection and a sore spot in the roof of my mouth. A prescription was written and I took it to get filled. Now, I get to take bactrim (in generic form) and cough syrup with codeine and have instructions to return if my symptoms have no cleared up by Friday. I know I can only take the cough syrup at the end of the day because codeine turns me goofy. The drugs I'm not sure about. I know it won't hurt me to take them. Then I read this on a website: "[This drug] will not treat a viral infection such as the common cold or flu."

Um... What?

Anyway, I'm now taking a drug that may or may not help me and looking forward to spending my evenings in a codeine laced stupor. Other than that, I'm digging myself out of the growing pile of homework and generally just trying to keep myself together.

Awesome speech project

In a week or two (we have not been given specific dates yet, which makes planning difficult), I have to give an informative speech in my business communications class. Because it's better to speak on something you're interested in, I've chosen to give a speech about vloggers who use YouTube to promote their businesses/charities/personal ideologies/philanthropies. I'm going to limit my 4-6 minute speech to a focus on people whose primary fame is on YouTube; namely, Alex Day, the vlogbrothers, John and Hank Green, and their Project for Awesome (P4A) and StickAid, co-founded by Charlie McDonnell (charlieissocoollike) and Myles Dyer (blade376). I will also include, in the beginning of my speech, a brief overview of the history of vlogging.

Hopefully, I'll be able to record/recreate my speech on my own youtube channel, InkandGrit.

I don't think I've ever been more excited/nervous about a simple class project. Wish me luck!

Busy, busy

Wow. Blogging. I remember this.

Life has been moving on and doing it so fast I'm just trying to keep up. I spent all of last week (was it only last week?) as a pledge for Alpha Psi Omega, the national theater honors fraternity, and was officially inducted on Sunday February 12. This was actually my second invitation to join, though it was my first time to become a pledge. I am so thrilled to finally be a part of Alpha Psi Omega! Another cool piece of news: I will be graduating with my big (the fraternity member who is acting as a mentor while I'm new to the group) in May. I thought that was really cool.

After Pledge Week ended, everybody started focusing on the musical we have opening next week. A bug of some sort has also started circling the department, which isn't cool at all. Once the show closes, I'm hoping to get a chance to go home and visit my parents, my pets, etc. before insanity descends again.

In March, I face my advanced directing class senior project. I get to direct and design a forty minute one act play with a maximum rehearsal time of forty-five hours over four weeks. That should be interesting, to say the least.This weekend, as usual, I get to live in the theater while we enter into the mad dash to get everything finished before opening night. Next week, during the run of the show, there'll be a lot of the same. I'm on light crew, running a spotlight, and on the hair and make-up crew. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.

Glad to be back to blogging. I hope I can make more time for this and get back to doing it regularly.

Life in a Soundbite Society

In my vlog this evening, I talked about a comment that was made by one of my professors. She claimed we live in a soundbite society, that many people these days are so bombarded by technology and constant streams of information that we're essentially drowning in it (my words) and, because of this, we can only pay attention to brief snippets. These brief snippets are essentially what causes us to form our opinions about much bigger issues (her words) and this isn't necessarily a good thing - more on that in the vlog.

Another big issue I have with today's no attention span society is the prevalence of buzz words like attention deficit disorder. I myself am diagnosed with ADD and have been learning how to live with it for the past six years of my life. In my experience, it seems like every time I share my diagnosis with someone on campus, there's always That Person. "Oh, wow. I think I've got ADD too. I mean, I can't pay attention to anything for very long."

Excuse me? You think you've got ADD just because you have a short attention span? Please educate yourself before lumping the two of us in the same group. There is more to ADD than an inability to focus. Hyperfocus, for example, is one of the truly awesome things about ADD. If the only evidence you have re: your "diagnosis" is an inability to focus/multi-task, I'm sorry but I'd appreciate it if you butt out on my disorder.

In my experience, ADD is turning into something of a buzz word. I'm wondering whether it is, perhaps, over-diagnosed as a side effect of our collective shrinking attention span or under-diagnosed for the same reason. There are people these days who can't pay attention to a fifty minute lecture, who can't wait three minutes for a microwave to cook food, who can't be bothered to read a book and must instead gather their facts from an abridgment, a film, or cliff notes. Do all of these people have ADD? I believe that is statistically impossible, though I've done no research on the stats. It just seems like a far too large number, hypothetically.

So, I wonder: is ADD over-diagnosed because nobody can pay attention to anything longer than three minutes or under-diagnosed because the symptoms aren't always noticed in today's "soundbite society"?

What I've Got

Some days, things sneak up on you that you didn't expect. Today has been one of those days for me. The icing on the cake was hearing my roomie, in passing, comment that she didn't like our apartment because there was no dishwasher or garbage disposal. I'm sure she was just making a comment and I'm sure she thought nothing of what she was saying. The on-campus apartment I call home (which I think is totally kick-ass) apparently doesn't have some of the amenities she is used to. Her comment got me thinking.

I don't have a dishwasher...but I have running water.

I don't have a garbage disposal...but I have the money to buy trash bags.

I don't have the best looking car...but it gets me where I need to go.

I don't have the newest smartphone...but I got mine for a penny.

I don't have a 4.0 GPA...but I'm still going to graduate.

I don't have any scholarships...but I know how to defend my beliefs.

I'm not part of a clique...but I know how to listen to different opinions without arguments breaking out.

I don't have brand name clothes...but the clothes I have fit me.

I don't own new clothes...but I'm comfortable with my own body.

I don't have the newest game system...but I have more books than my bookshelves can hold.

I don't have a large group of friends...but the ones I do have I wouldn't trade in for anything.

I haven't got much money...but I know how to save up for what I want.

I'm not sure when it became a trend to complain about what you don't have. I've got good health - I very rarely get sick. I have the most supportive family anybody could ask for and four amazing parents who I know I could talk to about anything under the sun. I've got two dogs at home, both of whom are in great health and love me as only a pet can. I have amazing talent as a writer and I have the ability to recognize my own worth. I've got a roof over my head with no worry about monthly bills since I'm in on campus housing. I have the opportunity to go to college and spent the next 15 years of my life paying back loans. I'm going to leave this place with a degree in hand, a degree I worked to earn. Why do so many people talk about what they don't have and only focus on areas they're lacking in? I don't understand it. I guess I never will.

Thoughts on Good Deeds

I, like nearly everyone else on the planet, would like to think I am an inherently good person. I try to do the "right" thing and help out those around me. I try to give sound advice only when I am asked for it - which can be a challenge in itself, as anyone who knows me can tell you. (I'm too diplomatic for my own good. Lol.) I try very, very hard to think before I speak, which doesn't always work, but I'm only human.

Today, out of the blue, I started thinking about good deeds and heroes and people who do good work and leave their mark on others. This category of "good" people spans so many groups. Friends, family members, celebrities, singers, internet celebs, writers, on and on. I got to wondering: is it ever weirdly awkward when a fan comes up to a celeb, artist, etc. and says "your work saved my life." I'm sure it's flattering to hear that kind of thing, but it strikes me as a feeling that would come after the fact, especially if the person in question has never heard this particular statement before. If someone came up to me and said "something you wrote in your book saved my life" I don't know what my response would be. A statement like that suddenly puts a lot of weight on the shoulders of the person on the receiving end. Something you did literally changed someone's life for the better by ensuring they are still around. How much pressure is attached to that idea? Seriously, think about it.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be a tremendous honor, but my god it would strike me, in the moment, as so awkward! Then again, I suppose that's a part of human nature. We're trained, programmed, conditioned, whatever phrase you want to use, to shy away from such issues as our own mortality. That feeling of awkwardness when the issue of mortality is pointed out to us is a pre-programmed response. How do you fight that? What do you say other than "wow"? How many lives can one person or one work actually save? Do some people say those kinds of things in exaggeration or to bring forth that awkward moment? Do they do it in order to deliberately give more depth to the person or thing that did the "saving"?

In my opinion, not to belittle the base idea of inspiration, if the thing that "saved" you was a work created by someone else that was not deliberately created for you, I rally don't know how much the creator had to do with your being saved. You attached significant meaning to the work, whatever it may have been, and that significant meaning you brought to the work caused you to make a change in your own life. Is this a bad thing? No, of course not, but you made that choice. Nobody made it for you.

Yes, I'm probably doing a lot of generalizing and maybe being a little overly cynical. I tend to overthink things and that might be the case today. Nevertheless, there it is. Today's random thought. Hope somebody found it interesting.

A very simple request

All I wanted to do tonight was get a vlog recorded. I managed that, then went to edit so I could post it on youtube, only to discover that the audio and visual were not synched at all. The camera (a logitech webcam c110) was recording my lips every three words or so, if that, while the audio raced ahead. This is the second webcam (different brands, models, and prices each time) I've purchased in less than a week and both had the same problem. This leads me to believe my computer might be the problem, but I have no idea how to fix it! I need this to work so I can vlog again! This camera has totally FTBA (forgot to be awesome). I miss my vlog!!!!

An Experiment in Free Writing

Most lies are not big. They're small. They look harmless. Until they multiply. The first lie comes, a spot of jam on a tile floor, a small imperfection that needs to be covered. Put something over it. Now, a stool sits in the corner, covered with a bright floral fabric. The stool has been moved. Something has to take its place in the living room. The coffee table gets shifted, then something is added to occupy that extra space. Because it wasn't there before, it gets accidentally knocked over, the pieces swept under the rug. This creates a lump, an obstacle, that someone may trip over. A chair gets moved, its legs acting as sentries around the lump of debris. Now, there's a chair in the middle of the room. Another tripping hazard placed too close to the couch for it to be comfortable. Wouldn't it be easier to tell about that small spot on the kitchen floor than rearrange the living room? Covering a lie causes more mess. Better to tell the truth right from the beginning and take care of the problem while it is small.

A winner announced!

Congratulations to the winner of my first give-away! Robin L. Scott, I hope you enjoy your $10 Starbucks gift card! Please contact me in the next 24 hours to claim your prize.  Thank you so much to everyone else for entering! I plan on having more give-aways in the future - here and on my vlog. Keep watching!

Textbook Torture

This evening, I decided to be a good college student and do some homework. Once I found my textbook. After tearing my room apart, I found it, which was fantastic because this meant I wouldn't have to spend $100 on a new copy of a book I already owned. The book in question is for my Spanish class, which I am taking as an online course and am required to complete with at least a D in order to graduate college in May. (No pressure!) After a good ten minutes (and a bad even more minutes) of searching, I finally found the unbound textbook and stuck it into a bigger binder than the one it had been in. No, I did not destroy the textbook by ripping it free of the binding. This is the new trend - unbound textbooks are, apparently cheaper and can't be returned for any kind of refund once the semester is up. Yay for keeping books you'll never need again!

Anyway, I find the book and get online and go to the site where the class is and read up on all the information and am thrilled that I now don't have to spend $100 to purchase another copy of this textbook. I got my refund check earlier today (helped pay bills at home) so I'm not flat broke, but $100 is a lot of money for one textbook! Especially when it's a book for a class outside my major field of study and outside any field of interest. I'm taking the class because they're making me. So, I go online and I look at the information and I realize I need a book key. A book key is a 19 character one time use only code that registers your copy of your book with the site. It comes with the book when purchased new. I'm pretty sure I bought my book new...but I can't find the book key.

Resume the tearing apart of the room I'd almost had cleaned. I'm looking for a piece of paper covered in printed type with the code on it that I need to register my book online. Without the code, I can't do any of my work or even see the assignments. I check everywhere - all my bookshelves, under my bed, my trashcan, even my car - but, alas, it is nowhere to be found. This also means that the solid paper and ink book sitting on my desk is of no use to me. I check the site and there's a question there. "What if I bought my book used and don't have a book key?" I check the answer - and the link provided takes you right back to the spot where you can pay $100 for a digital copy of the book, required code automated so it will work with no trouble.

I start searching the internet, ranting about the situation, and the like. A friend heard about my problem (because I called to vent my frustrations) and found a place online that sells just the book key for $30. Oh, joy! A way to save money! I purchase the code and get the code and plunk it into the site where I still have not managed to begin my Spanish assignment and it's now been an hour...and the code gets denied. I try again. Denied. I type it manually. Denied. Denied, denied, denied.

Okay. Setback. Irritating setback. Maybe I can get my money back. Oh no, wait. Because the book codes are one use only, it's in the site's rules that no refunds are allowed on those products. Does this make sense? Yes. Am I happy about it? No.

After another block of searching/ranting/searching/exercising some of my vocabulary's more vulgar selections, I swallow my pride and feel my pocket-book tighten. I have to spend $100 to buy an e-book copy of a text I already own so that I can do the required work for the class so I can graduate after six long, exhausting years. I go to the site and type in my information. My card gets denied. Twice. Because it had been used too many consecutive times in one day (what with the bill paying and such) and the activity, understandably, would seem suspicious. You know, if thieves regularly went around paying bills registered to the same address as the card they stole.

Oh, did I mention that this Spanish class is having an online meeting tomorrow for anyone who might have questions about the content of the course? Yeah. I'm essentially meeting with my professor tomorrow, albeit over the internet, and I have not managed to do ANY of the required work and, in fact have no idea what kind of work is in there because I can't get a freaking book key! Tomorrow, after class, I'm going to, again, try to give this company my $100 to purchase an electronic copy of a book I already own so that I can cram in as much work for the class as physically possible from the time my classes end at 2 and the meeting starts at 7.

This is how colleges make their money. They team up with websites/organizations/textbook companies who have no simple solutions, only sticky fingers. I can't wait to get out of here! Give me my diploma! It's been six years!